My Biggest Life Lessons From A Prison Visit
To accord forgiveness and mercy that I receive so freely
Twenty years ago, my father ran a retail store in a small town. It was a flourishing business. Every evening, he would drop his workers at their homes on his way home with mom.
One fateful night, my dad dropped his manager and was ambushed by thugs. They had followed him from the business. When he made his first stop, they ran out and attacked everyone in dad’s truck. They drew their guns and in a moment that can never be undone, shot my father at close range. The bullet perforated his lungs and he died immediately.
The police searched for the thugs. A few were arrested and charged in court. Prison became their home.
Sixteen years later, my prayer group decided to embark on a prison cleanup. We planned to visit the nearest prison, donate toiletries and undergarments, and clean up the cells.
I was in a dilemma. I agreed with God’s Word about remembering those in prison (Hebrews 13:3) but I wasn’t ready to face any of my father’s killers. Honestly, I didn’t want any encounter with them. I was still unsure until the day before the prison visit.
I’d been praying and asking God for a way out all along. He showed me that my reluctance was a sign of my inability to fully forgive the perpetrators and obey His Word. You see, I didn’t even know how the thugs looked like and viewed prison as a no-go zone filled with people who perpetrated very evil, vile things.
In my quiet time, God revealed that my hesitation was out of judgment. That if any prisoner asked Him for forgiveness, He was gracious to forgive. And that if He forgave anyone, I had no right to hold on to anger and bitterness against that person.
So why did I feel much greater than God? Why did I feel that the sins of those thugs were more unpardonable than mine? Yes, they still faced the consequences of their sin. But if they gave their lives to Jesus Christ, I had to look at them as my brothers and sisters adopted Christ’s family.
The prison visit
On the morning of the visit, I asked God for his grace and mercy. I wanted to serve His people with grace and not one iota of self-righteousness. I wanted to have His heart for the needy, the captive, and the prisoners. I meditated on:
“...I was in prison and you came to me...” (Matthew 25:35–46, ESV)
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. (Isaiah 61:1, ESV)
I wanted my actions to be full of love — full of compassion and not out of empty feeling. I wanted my obedience to count in God’s eyes. I wanted God to fill me with a pure motive, to clean the cells like I would clean my mother’s house.
So, I joined the prayer group and we cleaned and fumigated all the cells. I scrubbed, mopped, and wiped. I did this wholeheartedly without giving any thought to who occupied those cells. Thereafter, we handed out toiletries to each inmate and had a session of worship & prayer with them.
It was such a beautiful sight, seeing the inmates worshiping God and lifting their hands in surrender.
At that moment, I realized that 2 key things:
1. Everyone is worthy of God’s mercy
While I’m not excusing the hurt and pain that some inmates may have caused (some are arrested wrongfully and detained for years), I realize that God accords them the same mercy He does to us.
And in according mercy, I would remember that I too was imprisoned in my old body. When I lived a life of sin, I was imprisoned by my flesh. I did not know what dying to flesh meant. But God’s wonderful grace and love sought me and drew me close. He made me realize how much it pained Him to watch me imprisoned by sin, and He was the Only Way to a life free of judgment, condemnation, and death.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9, ESV)
It is in living this sweet life that I hold no grudges against my father’s assailants and instead pray for their salvation. The God who freed me from the chains of sin is merciful to forgive and free us from the chains that have imprisoned us. He has the power to turn all situations around.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.(Romans 8:28, ESV)
2. Freedom should not be taken for granted
I also learned that my life and freedom could change in a second. Life is not a straight line. It can blow any which way depending on the decisions I make or the actions of others. I could be at the wrong place at the wrong time and change the course of my life forever.
It is a blessing to live outside prison. And we often take this freedom for granted. It is by God’s grace that we can choose what time we want to wake up, eat, go to work/school, rest, bask in the sun, visit friends and live life the way we want to. It is a blessing to live freely without the watchful eyes of armed prison guards and State machinery controlling our every move.
Granted, our freedoms are controlled to a certain extent for the good of others, we can’t compare that with the lack of freedom that inmates experience within the four walls of their abode, and how this control affects their mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.
My son, do not forget my teaching but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and success in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:1–4, ESV)
I am grateful for that prison visit because that is the only place I would have received such lessons from God. I know that complete forgiveness does not mean condoning the action of another or establishing a friendship with the offender. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of your hurt and to see that person through God’s eyes. It is an acknowledgment that we are all worthy of God’s mercy and showing each other the same mercy that He has accorded us.
